You see all of us we go through a period where everything stops. The relationship falls out, you can’t find any job for the life of you, friendships fall out, your image of yourself shatters….And you can’t stop feeling like a failure.
And that’s exactly what i have been going through for the past 3 years. Have i sit still and done nothing ? Absolutely not, i applied for jobs, i opened the businesses ( and failed them ), I tried bettering myself psychologically, I tried opening my heart and the results? Well they were nowhere to be seen ! Maybe because im in the process…maybe i don’t even see them because im used to applause myself when others applause me…I still don’t know the answer to that.
This phase is mainly challenging for the people in the same position because they are doing things but others don’t notice them and unfortunately our society has this thing that it needs to position everyone. What i mean by that is you have to have a job at a certain age, you have to have found the one at another age, when something is out of norm, its not correct or right.
And all people that try but have no results see is exhausting work while still being seen as failures. If you are anything like me thats exactly what you are trying to escape, being a failure. Since we always identified with achieving and being successful when faced with this phase we go through and existential crisis because for the first time in our life, life is asking us to be and not do.
Paradoxically we try to do more because being its not valuable enough ! In this blog i don’t have the answers you might need. I hate to tell people it I’ll be okay when i don’t have the facts to prove it will be okay. But i can say that you can ease your heart just a little knowing there are other people experiencing this. I know this is valuable because when a mass experiences the same shock, it isn’t one anymore but if you are the only one experiencing this it looks like God singled you out to suffer. Unfortunately all you tend to hear in this case is God uses pain to build you and if you are anything like me that thought is pretty challenging to be accepted because we want God to love us and not scold us.
Lessons i learned from this phase are to just not care about other peoples thoughts, listen more to the voice within and to accept that sometimes if not most of it, its our own voice that it is judging us. Our inner voice has collected data from crucial times like fights, like critics that the ones around us did to us and they have formed an immediate talk back response making you think you actually know what the person in front of you is thinking of you.
Real life is kind of more complicated than that sometimes people say mean things influenced by their own struggles in life ( which have nothing to do with us ) and unfortunately those words stick with us, carving our actions one by one. And it is very important to get out of our own thinking and look with a third eye everything. Knowing that if you actually are doing things which have no results, you still owe yourself some credit even if other people aren’t appreciating it.