In our lifetime, we hear everywhere that we must control our thoughts and emotions because feeling anything negative is supposedly bad. Furthermore, with the Law of Attraction being so widespread across the world, people have actually started to believe that your emotions act as a magnet. As a result, a lot of people have become obsessed with the idea of being happy all the time.
However, let me show you how that couldn’t be more wrong!
The purpose of emotions
I purposely called this post “Discriminated Emotions” because it seems like we’ve started pointing fingers at sadness, depression, grief, anger, and anxiety as if they are things we absolutely must fight in order to survive. To be fair, the extremes of some of these feelings can be outrageously dangerous; however, that is mostly because people aren’t taught much about emotional intelligence and its basics.
In reality, every emotion is perfectly designed to give you guidance on how to move forward. To understand this, you have to think of emotions as little messages. For instance, imagine that every day, the mailman leaves an envelope for you in the mailbox. If you are intuitive enough to go and open the mailbox today, you’ll get the message and subsequently know what to do. On the other hand, if you allow the mailbox to get full before checking it, it will eventually become so packed that there won’t be any space left for more messages, which ultimately leads to becoming emotionally numb.
What message is your emotion sending to you right now ?
As previously mentioned, emotions are messages. Just as good emotions give you a “thumbs up, keep doing what you’re doing,” “bad” emotions have their purpose as well. In order to help you understand how all emotions matter, I’ve prepared some emotion cards for you to take in slowly.
THE PLEASANT EMOTIONS
Actions & Growth
First and foremost, pleasant emotions are not just temporary feelings that make us feel good in the moment. Instead, they act as vital signals that encourage us to expand our horizons, learn new skills, and connect deeply with the world around us. Specifically, when you experience emotions linked to growth, your mind naturally opens up to new possibilities and propels you toward positive action. Therefore, understanding these motivating forces helps you harness them to build a more fulfilling life.
Table n°1 Pleasant emotions
| ADMIRATION What it pushes you to do Approach, learn from, imitate or appreciate someone/something Its utility Helps you identify qualities, models and achievements worth learning from | COMPASSION What it pushes you to do: Help, protect, comfort or support someone who is suffering. Its utility: Promotes social connection, empathy and mutual support. | CURIOSITY What it pushes you to do: Explore, ask questions, investigate and learn. Its utility: Drives learning, discovery and the acquisition of new information. |
| DESIRE What it pushes you to do: Approach, pursue or obtain something you want. Its utility: Gives you direction and motivation toward something you value. | HOPE What it pushes you to do: Continue trying, invest effort and anticipate a positive outcome. Its utility: Sustains motivation when the desired result has not happened yet. | PRIDE What it pushes you to do: Repeat, maintain or build upon an achievement. Its utility: Reinforces behaviors that helped you accomplish something meaningful. |
| GRATITUDE What it pushes you to do: Appreciate, acknowledge or reciprocate something positive. Its utility: Strengthens relationships and helps you recognize what is valuable in your life. | JOY What it pushes you to do: Approach, engage, repeat and share. Its utility: Reinforces rewarding experiences and strengthens social connection. | SATISFACTION What it pushes you to do: Pause, enjoy the result and stop pursuing the immediate goal. Its utility: Signals that a need or objective has been sufficiently fulfilled. |
Relief & Joy
In addition to emotions that drive growth, there are pleasant feelings that allow us to pause, celebrate, and recharge our mental energy. For instance, starting with enthusiasm, these emotions signal to your nervous system that an activity is rewarding, a threat has passed, or a meaningful goal has been successfully reached. Consequently, these restorative emotions help reinforce positive experiences and strengthen our social bonds with others. As a result, taking the time to fully acknowledge them ensures you remain grounded and emotionally resilient.
Table n°2 Pleasant emotions
RELIEF What it pushes you to do: Relax, release tension and return to normal activity. Its utility: Signals that a stressful or threatening situation has ended. | LOVE What it pushes you to do: Approach, bond, care for, protect and invest in someone. Its utility: Creates emotional attachment and encourages long-term investment in relationships. | ENTHUSIASM What it pushes you to do: Start, participate and invest energy into something enjoyable or meaningful. Its utility: Mobilizes energy and motivation toward an activity or goal. |
EXCITEMENT What it pushes you to do: Approach, explore and engage intensely with something new. Its utility: Mobilizes energy toward a potentially rewarding experience. | WONDER What it pushes you to do: Stop, pay attention, contemplate and explore. Its utility: Makes you more receptive to beauty, novelty and experiences that expand your perspective. | NOSTALGIA What it pushes you to do: Reconnect with memories, people, places or experiences from your past. Its utility: Helps maintain a sense of continuity and connection with meaningful parts of your life. |
THE UNPLEASANT EMOTIONS
It is important to keep in mind, however, that although this is the message a “bad” emotion is trying to give you, these negative emotions can often be affected by past trauma. Consequently, this might make your current reality feel dangerous even when it is not.
Therefore, when you read this, you need to immediately ask yourself: “Why am I feeling this way? Is my situation actually like this, or is it simply because it reminds me of a past experience that made me feel the same?”
Granted, your negative feelings are completely real no matter the context. The mere fact that you feel them makes them real to you even if outsiders do not understand and that is truly all that matters. At the same time, you should rationally keep in mind that your brain cannot always tell the difference between immediate, real danger and trauma-induced, overthought danger.
Coping with Discomfort
On the other hand, negative feelings are often the most misunderstood signals our minds produce. For instance, when you feel uncomfortable emotions, your brain is simply attempting to alert you to an unmet need, an environmental obstacle, or a boundary that has been crossed. Consequently, learning to recognize these initial protective responses helps you adjust your expectations and adapt without becoming overwhelmed. Therefore, treating these signals with curiosity rather than fear is the first step toward emotional balance.
Table n°1 Unpleasant Emotions
| DISAPPOINTMENT What it pushes you to do: Reassess your expectations, adapt or reconsider your approach. Its utility: Signals that reality did not match what you expected and helps you adjust. | DISGUST What it pushes you to do: Reject, avoid or distance yourself from something. Its utility: Helps protect you from potentially harmful, contaminated or unacceptable things. | DESPAIR What it pushes you to do: Withdraw, stop trying or give up on a current approach. Its utility: Signals that your current strategies feel ineffective and may force you to reconsider your approach. |
| EMBARRASSMENT What it pushes you to do: Hide, correct yourself, apologize or adjust your behavior. Its utility: Helps you recognize social mistakes and adapt to social expectations. | BOREDOM What it pushes you to do: Seek stimulation, novelty or something more meaningful. Its utility: Signals that your current activity isn’t providing enough stimulation or meaning. | ENVY What it pushes you to do: Compare yourself with others and pursue something you feel you lack. Its utility: Can reveal an unmet desire or something you genuinely value. |
| FRUSTRATION What it pushes you to do: Persist, change your strategy, remove an obstacle or confront a problem. Its utility: Mobilizes energy when something repeatedly blocks an important objective. | SHAME What it pushes you to do: Hide, withdraw, repair your image or change your behavior. Its utility: Signals that you believe you’ve violated an important personal or social standard. | JEALOUSY What it pushes you to do: Protect a relationship, investigate a perceived threat or seek reassurance. Its utility: Alerts you to a perceived threat to an important relationship. |
Processing Heavy Feelings
Furthermore, deeper unpleasant emotions serve as powerful indicators that demand our careful attention and introspection. In fact, starting with feelings like contempt, these intense emotions often point directly to core personal boundaries, underlying values, or protective mechanisms that require processing. As a result, taking the time to listen to these heavier emotional states allows you to act deliberately rather than react impulsively. Ultimately, acknowledging these difficult messages enables you to make informed decisions and move forward with greater clarity.
Table n°2 Unpleasant emotions
| CONTEMPT What it pushes you to do: Distance yourself, reject or disengage. Its utility: Can create distance from behavior you perceive as unacceptable. | FEAR What it pushes you to do: Escape, avoid, freeze, prepare or seek safety. Its utility: Detects potential danger and activates protective mechanisms. | RELUCTANCE What it pushes you to do: Hesitate, delay, gather more information or avoid committing. Its utility: Gives you space to assess uncertainty before acting. |
| SURPRISE What it pushes you to do: Stop, pay attention and reassess what is happening. Its utility: Interrupts your current behavior so you can process unexpected information. | CONFUSION What it pushes you to do: Stop, question, compare information and seek clarification. Its utility: Prevents you from confidently acting on contradictory or incomplete information. | RESIGNATION What it pushes you to do: Stop resisting, accept, adapt or redirect your efforts. Its utility: Helps conserve energy when something genuinely cannot be changed. |
| ANGER What it pushes you to do: Confront, protest, defend yourself or try to change what is happening. Its utility: Signals that something important has been violated, blocked or perceived as unjust and gives you energy to respond. | DISCOURAGEMENT What it pushes you to do: Slow down, reconsider your approach or temporarily withdraw effort. Its utility: Signals that your current efforts aren’t producing the expected results and encourages you to reassess. | ANXIETY What it pushes you to do: Anticipate, prepare, check or seek reassurance. Its utility: Draws your attention toward uncertainty and possible future threats so you can prepare. |
Conclusion
That is precisely why, the next time you want to get rid of the negative emotions you are feeling, you should pause instead and ask yourself: “Why are these feelings here? What are they trying to tell me?”
By doing so and taking the time to understand where these feelings come from and what they are trying to communicate, you give yourself the opportunity to move forward more quickly while staying honest and truthful with yourself. After all, the emotion you are trying so hard to get rid of is often the very message you needed to hear.
Your way to yourself is your way to successs
Your Way to Yourself is Your Way to Success offers a clear path forward. Specifically, this book guides you on a rewarding journey of self-discovery. It provides practical biological and psychological tools so you can move away from dark places in your life. In addition, this practical guide helps you heal old wounds and choose a better life. The author bridges science and spirituality seamlessly. Consequently, the book helps you reflect and uncover the root causes of past trauma. By asking the right questions, you can finally hear your inner voice.